Bank On, Dudes!

Has anyone thought to ask how some of the youngest Wall Streeters in New York have enjoyed their summer?

“Basically, I—banking has a reputation for being a glamorous career, but I don’t think it is,” said a young fellow at J.P. Morgan. Oh, pshaw! One interning analyst with Lehman Bros. had quite a time.

“On my floor, there were two interns,” he said. “So the V.P. proposed a hot-dog-eating contest. So the challenge was to eat 15 dirty-water dogs in 20 minutes and to hold it down for an hour. There were lots of bets placed and taken. We stood to make about $200 each if we succeeded. After about 10 hot dogs, the other intern started looking sick and ran off to the bathroom. I managed to finish and regretted it for the rest of the day. So disgusting. But at least I got the cash.”

This kind of excess is the traditional reward for the long hours. “My boss worked as a salesperson on the trading floor for government bonds,” said the young Lehmanite. “As part of entertaining clients, she told me they would take them out to dinner and then clubs.”

“There was always plenty of coke waiting,” he said. “At the end of one of these entertaining evenings, all the guys would head downtown to a massage parlor that gave happy endings.”

“There’s a reason why American banks have drug tests. Where there’s money, there’s drugs,” said a Morgan Stanley trader.

Oh, it’s all fun and games to begin with! A Bank of America fellow remembered a junior trader who suffered the ultimate in insult clichés. “He lost a substantial amount of money, only to have his boss cut off his tie below the knot and send him home. Humiliation does not fall under health and safety.” Time for a new shtick, Hedge Funds!

http://observer.com/20060828/20060828___thecity_thetransom.asp#Bank